Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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