We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So vagazzling was a success
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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