Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
