My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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