Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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