every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
