Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
