I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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