Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
