do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
