Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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