glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
