she woke up with a sticky ear
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
