My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
