Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
