my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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