I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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