Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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