if i died would you start the facebook group?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
