I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
