doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
