these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize