i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
