We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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