And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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