apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
