so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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