I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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