Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
home. puking in laundry basket.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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