apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
