I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
