no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like eating out sand paper
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
