I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
