we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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