So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
