remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
