i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
