I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
