During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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