If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
