You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
