It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
