He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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