Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
