like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
