If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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