ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
