that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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