Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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