So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
