It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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