I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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