My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
nutella sex= disaster
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
third nipple confirmed
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
