i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
