: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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