i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
