you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
